New Year, New Me?

Here it is, New Years Day, and many people are in a depressive funk thinking about all the things they didn't accomplish in 2010 and making a long list of things that they resolve to do (and know they probably won't) in 2011. I just went over the Georgia Speaker's Association website, and just reading the success stories of those who did actually join and participate over the past year made me feel like a slacker.

I used to belong to GSA, and I could have written one of the success sidebars about 10 years ago. What happened? Why did I stop participating? How did I get distracted? I am still a professional member of the National Speakers Association, but havent' attended any of the conventions or other workshops they offer.

A couple of life choices at the height of my career success changed the course of my professional career, as did the effects of the stock market crash in '99, and further broken by the terrorist attacks of 9/11 and the chaos that followed. The weekend after the towers fell, I was on a plane to a training week for a client, and was struck by the empty airports and vacant faces I encountered on planes, hotels and in my sessions. Was that an omen of things to come? Divorced and in a faltering relationship, I felt a slow panic of instability as a sole proprietor watching my training schedule thin and the projects downsized or cancelled. A job offer in an area I knew little about but with a paycheck and benefits was the lifeline I grabbed, leaving the work I loved behind. Allowing an unknown fear take over, I traded my passion for creativity and motivation for the Corporate life. I learned a lot, made a lot of mistakes, and made my new profession work for the next seven years, but always regretted the road that I had taken and the knowledge that the I didn't believe in myself enough to tough it out.

Now, here it is a new year, and I am again reminded of the Marlon Brando's line from the movie On The Waterfront--"I could have been somebody...I could have been a contender." Looking back, I have no one to be disappointed in but myself--for not believing strongly enough in myself and taking the easy, sure way out. Holding on to what is safe and secure can keep us from falling, but it will never get us to the other side of what life has waiting for us.

I said I wouldn't make any New Years Resolutions this year, but I have changed my mind. This year, I am going to let go of the handlebars--the monkey bars--the safe path. One of my favorite consultant/writers is Alan Weiss. In his book, Thrive, he said we aren't put here to tread water...we are supposed to make waves. Instead of trying to go back to the person I once was, I am determined to walk forward to discover the person I have always been destined to be NOW! All paths have led up to this moment. Rediscover my passion. A lot have changed in the last 10 years, myself included. The world of work has changed dramatically. The drawers full of old speeches and training programs may not fit the new economy and they certainly don't fit me. Ten more years of life experiences have taught me a lot.

Security is fine, but it is limiting. If you spend all your time trying to maintain--your possessions, your home, your bank account, your present standard of living--that's all you will have. Letting go of the past and walking into the future with no requirements or predetermined expectations can be scary, but liberating. Being open to opportunities and paying attention to what life is offering is much more creative and inspiring than a bunch of resolutions that are supposed to guide me to success by the end of the year.

Letting go of your past, who you were, what you accomplished--especially if you have lost a job, failed at a business, saw a marriage or relationship end--is difficult, but staying there emotionally is a real killer. Letting go changes direction and focus. GSA, you are getting a new member this year who is ready to learn, grow, experience and enjoy every moment, whatever it brings.