Looking ahead to 2009

Here it is, the 30th of December. Time to reflect on 2008, almost "the past" and look forward to 2009. A new year, fresh start, new book with clean pages, clean slate...all those cliches that we buy into that give us hope that this next year, things will be different, better different.

On December 31, I pull out the envelope where I put last year's the New Year's Resolutions, open them up, and see how I did. Hmmmm. As I read the list, I am at times disappointed, amused, bewildered, angry, and resigned. Sometimes, one has actually been achieved. I'm a much better resolver than completer. That doesn't deter me from repeating the exercise for the next year. Undeterred, and always optomistic, I begin again. One year, after not making progress on a single item, I merely crossed out the year at the top of the page and put in the next year.

I always make New Years Resolutions. December 31, I take out the yellow legal pad (great expectations) and begin. #1 is always a repeat (except for 1997), "lose 20 lbs.) Then follows a litany of great expectations, such as "write book, remember everyone's birthday with card or call, make $1 million, be on 'Oprah" with new book, etc.)

One thing about making resolutions, is that making them isn't the thing. They say writing things down make them more likely to be achieved, like goals. I have found that writing them is helpful, but actually DOING them is what makes the difference. I learned the same thing over many years of buying the latest diet books when they hit the market. Buying the books isn't the key. Knowing what to do and why it works (or doesn't) to take off the pounds isn't enough. Actually cutting those calories, getting off your butt and walking or working out is what makes the numbers on the scale decrease. Knowing all the "secrets" and "surefire tips" to losing weight isn't enough. You do much better by putting knowledge to action. 1997 was proof of that...actually lost those 20 lbs!

This year, I'm going to add something to my resolutions. A start date, and a completion date. I'm going to take my own advice (that I give to my audiences in training and speaking) and use action words, set timelines and deadlines. Quantify results. Set milestones. This time the resolutions are not going to go in a sealed envelope, but hang on the wall over my PC in the office for all to see. They will even go in this blog. And not make so many. Too many resolutions are discouraging, since many are not achieved. With a shorter list, more likelihood that the percentage of success will be greater.

Hope springs eternal. There is always a new beginning. Why do we wait until New Year's Day to do it? Every day, every moment can be a new beginning from the previous one. Tomorrow when I make the short list for 2009, one of the resolutions will be to begin again every day. Falling short one day doesn't mean failure, just an opportunity to pick up again the next day.

What will you resolve this year? More money, better education, lose some weight, connect with family and friends? Write it down, share it with someone, and don't be discouraged. You've got a year to get it together and make some progress. They say if you don't have a plan, you will be at the mercy of someone who does. Make your own plan and work it in 2009. And remember to have some fun while you're doing it.

Happy New Year!

"Ho, Ho, Ho" or "Ho Hum" ?

i just returned from my last training engagement for the month. I am now sitting in the midst of christmas cards that haven't been written, gifts that now have to be sent by FedEx ($$$$!!!), the pajamas patterns for the children and grandchildren cut but not yet sewed (7 of them) and a lovely Christmas tree aglow with lights, but with nary an ornament. The nutrolls haven't even gotten to the ingredient-buying stage. No stockings hung on the chimney with care (where are they, anyway??).

Someone asked me yesterday if I was ready for Christmas. I wasn't ready for Thanksgiving, but it came anyway. That's the way I feel about Christmas, too. It will come whether I'm "ready" or not. Thanks to my husband, the lighted wreaths with their beautiful red bows are already in place, hanging outside the upstairs bay windows on our old historic house in Savannah. What is "ready"??? How ready do you have to be, and who decides?

My son is coming tomorrow for a quick visit with two of my grandchildren. Next weekend, we will have the little girls, my husband's two children, and the following week, my two children and four grandchildren will descend on us for two days of welcomed chaos. Am I ready for that??? Absolutely. I can't wait.

Sometimes we let the preparation and some arbitrary standard of "readiness" measure our excitement or enjoyment of an event. The house has to be pristine, the decorations up to Southern Living Magazine standard, the food worthy of recognition by the Food Network. We lose the "Ho, Ho, Ho" merriment and enjoyment of the moment by exhausting ourselves with preparation, wanting that approval or adulation of what WE did instead of focusing on the mere joy of being together for a time in a special season.

This year, my decorations may be "Ho Hum", but when we open the door to family and friends, my heart will be singing "Ho, Ho, Ho." Don't miss the magic amid all the crazienss. Determine your own standards. Clear the clutter off the dining room table, dust off the good china, and really look at and talk to your family and guests. Give a few extra hugs, tell someone how much you love them and what they mean to you. Don't stress over the chocolate stains on the couch or the candy cane stuck to the curtains. That's what Resolve carpet and upholstery cleaners are for. Happy Holidays!

Homeward Bound

It's one of those comfy Fridays...small wisps of clouds in the sky, a hint of warmth in the breeze for the middle of December. The house is quiet, except for the gentle sounds of one of the original albums of Simon and Garfunkle, taking me back to random days, times, sites, and people of a time long lost and often forgotten. Now it's "Bridge Over Troubled Water." I can see Art Garfunkle again (saw S&G in person in the 60's in concert at Valparaiso University) his curly hair almost standing up, thin, lanky silhouette on the stage, soft jacket, scarf carelessly wound around his neck. It is almost prayerful, the song. He closes his eyes, and the lyrics come, soft, liquid, caramel, soothing, yet aching, wrenching.

Music does things to me. Quiets, stirs, evokes. All those afternoons and evenings working in my Dad's music store (K Music, Glen Park, Gary Indiana)endlessly listening to the latest hits, country and western, classical, whatever was new or what the customer was interested in. I learned how to sing harmony by listening to all that music. In my teens, when I was lonely, or just wanted to escape the boredom of everyday or avoid my homework, I would put on a stack of LP's on the record player in the living room at home, and lay prone on the floor, ear up against the speakers on the front so I was enveloped, surrounded, caressed by the music. I could hear at once each individual part and all of them together. There was such beauty, power, emotion in those sounds, meeting, parting, soaring, and then coming together again.

Music has always been a part of my life. My children and I listened to lots of music together. Children's songs, christian songs (in our religious phase), nursery rhymes. I used to sing to them when they were babies, and was renowned for always having a song for everything. Give me a word, and I'd give you a song. We all loved music, and each had his or her own taste. My daughter with her "skater" phase. My son, the bass player for the high school garage band, "Midnight Raid", and husband/father, with some of the craziest songs, played over and over on those long trips to Hilton Head.

A nice, cozy, Friday, full of soft lights, music, and memories. Have a great weekend.

Go Buy Something!

This thing with the economy is too big to even get your arms around, so I'm not going to try to sound intelligent about what caused it or what to do about it. I do know that there are still plenty of things that you have to buy, like food, gas, adult beverages, and new tunes for the IPod. The bailouts and economic recovery packages are designed for people to do just that....spend. So, if the government and all the people that screwed up the economy are getting trillions of dollars to spend FAST, why should the rest of us stop?

One thing that would help, along with a moratorium on foreclosures would be a moratorium on layoffs and terminations. Companies could take the hundreds of thousands (millions?) of dollars they budgeted for bonuses, raises and holiday parties and put it in a fund to pay salaries for the next year instead. Better to keep people working then ruin more lives and cause more economic havoc by putting more people on unemployment comp. Let the big guys with the big bucks learn how to clip coupons and run the self-check out at Wal-Mart, and maybe they would understand what it's like to live like the rest of us. Maybe they would care.

Anyway, have some fun and go out and buy something today. It's good for the psyche, and good for the economy. Buy something for yourself, and something for someone else. You get to smile and help someone else smile too. That's priceless.

Have some fun today!