Tonight is the night for ghouls, goblins, and other scary things. In Savannah, we have lots of real ghosts who haven't yet passed over, and they will be at their best, delighting all the people taking the late night "ghost pub crawls." I don't know what's scarier, the real ghosts or tourists dressing up, drinking too much, and then stumbling around dark, creepy houses and bars, listening to stories of murder and mayhem.
There is a great deal on the media about keeping Halloween safe for kids. Lots of police out tonight. One reporter said the police are out to make sure the registered sex offenders are complying with their curfew and aren't out with the kiddies. Now that's really scary. It's sad to think that such a fun holiday has turned into a daytime, go with your parents, controlled activity where it starts going to only approved houses, and ends at the local hospital where the candy has to be x-rayed and analyzed before eaten.
Halloween was far different when I was a child. I remember putting on some semblance of home-made costume, and going out with my friends at a very young age, with a pillowcase for the booty, and walking for blocks and blocks until the bag was full. We went to every house, and before long, the grapevine had bulletins out on who was giving out full-size candy bars...hershey's bars with almonds and nestles crunch bars being the best. We would go up to church where the nuns and priests would OOOH and AHHHH over our costumes and give out some of the best candy. There was nary a parent in sight, but no problem. There were droves of kids making the rounds. If you were out too late when the crowds started thinning, there was the risk of running into the older kids who were out to steal candy bags,but those were few and far between. We would come home from our trek, dump the bags on the floor, and then begin the serious trading. My siblings and I would sort, and trade for what we liked best. Then, my brother would make a fort out of his candy, with Milky Way sentry positions and gun mounts out of sucker sticks. My mother would loan us her turkey roaster pan and soup pot to store the candy in, which went immediately to our rooms and hiding places, far from the other kids and parents with sweet tooths.
Now that I'm an adult, its not the ghosts or goblins that scare me most. It's reading the newspaper with all the violence in the city, or the business page, or the financial news. Recession, layoffs, foreclosures. We are just in the beginning, and who knows what tomorrow will bring. The news media is anticipating a "test" for the new President his first year in office. Dire predictions of a 9-11 type attack, maybe this time biological. Now that's scary. Too much TV time is bad for children, but now it's just as bad for adults. Tired of being scared? Turn off the TV and radio. Hold someone's hand that you trust and cares for you. Count your blessings. Take some time to think of something to be happy about, and don't stop until you do. And when the kids come home with their candy bags, or you've got some leftover nestle crunch bars when the trick-or-treaters have gone home, settle back, snuggle next to someone(thing) (person, pet, etc.)smile, and sink your teeth into some forbidden chocolate delight. Savor the moment.
Happy Halloween!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Eat slow and eat lots!
This was my mother's directive when we would sit down to a Sunday dinner at home. She always made a grand dinner (actually the meal was after 11:00 a.m. mass on Sunday)with some type of meat, mashed potatoes, gravy, several vegetables, sliced tomatoes, salad (with her sweet/sour dressing), homemade rolls and at least two kinds of dessert. My mother showed her love by cooking, and she did it with gusto. We were all too happy to comply with her wishes. My five siblings and I would compete to see who could grab the spoon in the mashed potato bowl the fastest once my father finished the blessing with the final "amen." Six hands would reach, but only one won the privilege of taking the first helping. No worry that there wouldn't be enough. The bowls of food were always heaping full, glistening with that extra pat of real butter on top.
I still hear that phrase in my memory when I sit down to a meal. However, after fighting excess weight (probably due to obedience to it early on) for so many years, I now reach for the mashed potatoes with anxiety. How many calories? How many carbs have I had already today? How many points is this (I'm a lifetime Weight Watcher)? The angst repeats itself with each selection. My early love affair with food has turned into an obsession with the dark side of enjoyment. Right now, I'm about 10 lbs over my desired weight, and it seems that instead of losing the weight, I sabotage myself with Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia (tastes sooooooo good).
Deciding what to eat for breakfast is a major effort, with many considerations (see above). There is so much conflicting information about food and diets and what is good for you, it is mind boggling. The typical breakfast when I was a child was a bowl of cereal, toast with butter and jelly, orange juice and glass of milk. Today, that breakfast would be the target of a dozen diet experts. Orange juice? Too much sugar. Cereal with milk (oh, and it had a teaspoon of sugar in it, too) Carbs, sugar and whole milk with it's animal fat -- can't be good for you. Then, pile on the toast, and in those days it was white, Silvercup Bread, the most delicious, soft, full-bodied bread ever, with the most delicious crust. With butter, please. Top it off with a nice glass of milk, and you were ready for your ABC's
When I look back on those days, one thing stands out. We enjoyed food without guilt. Eating Sunday dinner together was a family affair. It was part of a very enjoyable time, one of few that I remember from my childhood. My mother glowed with compliments on her cooking, attested to by empty serving bowls and satisfied smiles. Sunday dinner was followed by my sisters and I washing and drying dishes together, and my dad taking a nap in his favorite chair while watching a football game. My mother would relax on the couch and read the rest of the Sunday paper. After the dishes, we would scatter to our rooms or call on friends to spend the rest of the day. No anxiety, no guilt, no obsessing over calories, points, and fat grams.
Maybe that's the secret. To weight loss? Maybe not, but to enjoying what food adds to life. Doctors say that stress adds to weight gain by releasing cortisol, which adds fat around the middle. Comfort food is the label attributed to those Sunday dinners of long ago. Not the low fat, low carb, pre-packaged diet meals we force ourselves to eat to gain an image in a mirror dictated by Project Runway or Dancing with the Stars. They call it comfort food for a reason. Good, tasty, relaxing, satisfying. I'll eat a "sensible" breakfast this morning. I still have my mother's meatloaf recipe, and her mashed potatoes I know by heart. Sounds like a plan for dinner. I feel better already.
I still hear that phrase in my memory when I sit down to a meal. However, after fighting excess weight (probably due to obedience to it early on) for so many years, I now reach for the mashed potatoes with anxiety. How many calories? How many carbs have I had already today? How many points is this (I'm a lifetime Weight Watcher)? The angst repeats itself with each selection. My early love affair with food has turned into an obsession with the dark side of enjoyment. Right now, I'm about 10 lbs over my desired weight, and it seems that instead of losing the weight, I sabotage myself with Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia (tastes sooooooo good).
Deciding what to eat for breakfast is a major effort, with many considerations (see above). There is so much conflicting information about food and diets and what is good for you, it is mind boggling. The typical breakfast when I was a child was a bowl of cereal, toast with butter and jelly, orange juice and glass of milk. Today, that breakfast would be the target of a dozen diet experts. Orange juice? Too much sugar. Cereal with milk (oh, and it had a teaspoon of sugar in it, too) Carbs, sugar and whole milk with it's animal fat -- can't be good for you. Then, pile on the toast, and in those days it was white, Silvercup Bread, the most delicious, soft, full-bodied bread ever, with the most delicious crust. With butter, please. Top it off with a nice glass of milk, and you were ready for your ABC's
When I look back on those days, one thing stands out. We enjoyed food without guilt. Eating Sunday dinner together was a family affair. It was part of a very enjoyable time, one of few that I remember from my childhood. My mother glowed with compliments on her cooking, attested to by empty serving bowls and satisfied smiles. Sunday dinner was followed by my sisters and I washing and drying dishes together, and my dad taking a nap in his favorite chair while watching a football game. My mother would relax on the couch and read the rest of the Sunday paper. After the dishes, we would scatter to our rooms or call on friends to spend the rest of the day. No anxiety, no guilt, no obsessing over calories, points, and fat grams.
Maybe that's the secret. To weight loss? Maybe not, but to enjoying what food adds to life. Doctors say that stress adds to weight gain by releasing cortisol, which adds fat around the middle. Comfort food is the label attributed to those Sunday dinners of long ago. Not the low fat, low carb, pre-packaged diet meals we force ourselves to eat to gain an image in a mirror dictated by Project Runway or Dancing with the Stars. They call it comfort food for a reason. Good, tasty, relaxing, satisfying. I'll eat a "sensible" breakfast this morning. I still have my mother's meatloaf recipe, and her mashed potatoes I know by heart. Sounds like a plan for dinner. I feel better already.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Quick, someone throw me a "Life Link"
i just returned from four days on the road, presenting four different seminars for four different clients. Whether it was garbage recycling, web design, aerospace or health care, the greatest challenge for each of these diverse organizations (when asked) was internal communication. Funny, with all the communication channels we have now -- e-mail, texting, IM, cell phones, voice mail, Blackberries (strawberries, raspberries) and the antiquated (yes, you can get your butt out of the chair and actually walk to talk to a co-worker) but amazingly effective face-to-face conversation, we still aren't getting any closer or clearer in communicating effectively.
Salary.com says in it's 2007 survey that the #1 reason people stay at a job is "Relationship with my co-workers" and the #2 reason is "Relationship with my manager." If that is true, being able to communicate effectively and build bridges with co-workers and managers should be Priority #1 for all companies who want to attract and retain top talent. But I find from talking with hundreds of employees across the country that the opposite is true. Many of our communication tools actually hinder building those relationships. We have fast, concise communication (who wants to type in a long message on a Blackberry?) but not much with the three V's critical for effective communication -- voice tone, visual (body language) and verbal (effective --and sufficient-- words). We may be taking care of business from the distance of VM, IM and Blackberry, but losing the all important side effect of face-to-face conversation and interaction, real understanding, follow-on quesions, and the nuances of facial expressions, voice tone, and body language.
So, with all this separation, how can companies help their employees build relatioships that are so important for attracting and retaining top talent? Smart companies are taking time to bring their employees together for retreats, conferences or (please forgive the ancient terminology) Teambuilding programs. Having an effecive relationship-building exercise and a skilled facilitator can make make or break the day. It has to be fun, thought provoking, and provide opportunity to learn more about co-workers and create "links" that bring people together and help them value each other.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to facilitate a retreat for a local organization, using my original exercise, "Life Links," which, through a series of questions (answered pre-meeting by the participants,_ helps them learn more about each other, find common links through life experiences, and discover strengths, values and clues as to what makes a person "tick" and how they view the world. It is a highly interactive, fun, laugh-filled exercise, ending with each person presenting a positive profile of how another member contributes to the success of the group by who they are and thier life experiences.
I created this exercise in 1996, and an article on it was published in Training and Development Magazine. It has been used successfully with organizations such as NASA, Western Michigan University, Coach, Inc., Georgia Power Company, Lighthouse Bank, and the Medical College of Georgia. If your employees, team, work group, or executive team need help in building relationships that make people want to stay on the job and work better together, consider "Life Links" for your next staff meeting, retreat or conference. Over the years, I have seen some of the most amazing answers to the questions, such as the guy who answered the question, "What's the scariest, craziest, most dangerous thing you've ever done" with the fact that he was a prisoner of war in Korea, and he escaped and took two other prisoners with him. Everyone thought the answer had to belong to a leader, so they attributed it to the CEO. It turned out to be the custodian. The awe and respect that the group had for him after that revelation was incredible. Helping co-workers to learn more about each other, and then relating that to strengths that they bring to the table because of who they are and their life experiences goes beyond the resume and work experience. They learn to value and respect each other as individuals, breaking the barriers that titles and position on an org chart can create.
In these times of economic uncertainty, it is even more important for co-workers to feel valued and an important part of the organization. "Life Links" can play a part in bringing people together in both good and challenging times. For more information, contact me through my website, www.mjnhconsulting.com, or e-mail marynh@mjnhconsulting.com
Have a
Salary.com says in it's 2007 survey that the #1 reason people stay at a job is "Relationship with my co-workers" and the #2 reason is "Relationship with my manager." If that is true, being able to communicate effectively and build bridges with co-workers and managers should be Priority #1 for all companies who want to attract and retain top talent. But I find from talking with hundreds of employees across the country that the opposite is true. Many of our communication tools actually hinder building those relationships. We have fast, concise communication (who wants to type in a long message on a Blackberry?) but not much with the three V's critical for effective communication -- voice tone, visual (body language) and verbal (effective --and sufficient-- words). We may be taking care of business from the distance of VM, IM and Blackberry, but losing the all important side effect of face-to-face conversation and interaction, real understanding, follow-on quesions, and the nuances of facial expressions, voice tone, and body language.
So, with all this separation, how can companies help their employees build relatioships that are so important for attracting and retaining top talent? Smart companies are taking time to bring their employees together for retreats, conferences or (please forgive the ancient terminology) Teambuilding programs. Having an effecive relationship-building exercise and a skilled facilitator can make make or break the day. It has to be fun, thought provoking, and provide opportunity to learn more about co-workers and create "links" that bring people together and help them value each other.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to facilitate a retreat for a local organization, using my original exercise, "Life Links," which, through a series of questions (answered pre-meeting by the participants,_ helps them learn more about each other, find common links through life experiences, and discover strengths, values and clues as to what makes a person "tick" and how they view the world. It is a highly interactive, fun, laugh-filled exercise, ending with each person presenting a positive profile of how another member contributes to the success of the group by who they are and thier life experiences.
I created this exercise in 1996, and an article on it was published in Training and Development Magazine. It has been used successfully with organizations such as NASA, Western Michigan University, Coach, Inc., Georgia Power Company, Lighthouse Bank, and the Medical College of Georgia. If your employees, team, work group, or executive team need help in building relationships that make people want to stay on the job and work better together, consider "Life Links" for your next staff meeting, retreat or conference. Over the years, I have seen some of the most amazing answers to the questions, such as the guy who answered the question, "What's the scariest, craziest, most dangerous thing you've ever done" with the fact that he was a prisoner of war in Korea, and he escaped and took two other prisoners with him. Everyone thought the answer had to belong to a leader, so they attributed it to the CEO. It turned out to be the custodian. The awe and respect that the group had for him after that revelation was incredible. Helping co-workers to learn more about each other, and then relating that to strengths that they bring to the table because of who they are and their life experiences goes beyond the resume and work experience. They learn to value and respect each other as individuals, breaking the barriers that titles and position on an org chart can create.
In these times of economic uncertainty, it is even more important for co-workers to feel valued and an important part of the organization. "Life Links" can play a part in bringing people together in both good and challenging times. For more information, contact me through my website, www.mjnhconsulting.com, or e-mail marynh@mjnhconsulting.com
Have a
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